Fondlecorpse - Creaturegore

Never before have I had such high expectations for something that have been exceeded tenfold by the actual product. To say that I merely recommend this album would do it a disservice. I not only recommend it, I shout from the rooftops that plague may enshroud the nation were it not to take part in it's splendor. Good fucking Jesus man, I've played this album 5 times since I got it and the thought of it getting old has never once occurred. My first thought was the rawness of the vocals. There is clearly absolutely no "nu" influence going into them. Just pure old school early 90s death metal feeling throughout. Then come the guitars. Thrashy and melodic and brutal all at the same time. When I say thrashy, I mean crossover thrash speed . When I say melodic, I mean entirely uncheezy feeling pure melody. And when I say brutal, I mean all the fury of a Dismember album. You know what I mean!

Each individual song on this album is special in it's own way. There is absolutely no "filler" in here. Each track is unique, each track fits in with the others and yet is entirely original to itself. The intros entirely fit the theme, and are short enough to please those who bitch about releases like this that have them, yet long enough to please the cheezy movie fans like us here! There is a lead in nearly every song, and they are always spectacular! What talented musicians we're dealing with here. Not only are they always on point with the riffs, but the little things that aren't noticed until repeated listens, like the intricate guitar parts laid in between some of the riffs are just amazing.

There is nothing further I can say about this release other than to buy it, immediately! Go to razorbackrecords.com, fondlecorpse.nl, or myspace.com/fondlecorpse, and get this album!

10/10

Podcast Episode 1

PLAYLIST:
Doomstone - Doomstone/Transvection
Grand Belial's Key - Goat of a Thousand Young
Cianide - Gates of Slumber
Revenge - Traitor Crucifixion
Blood Freak - Worm Face Executioner
Nunslaughter - Hellchild
Witchfinder General - Friends of Hell
Mentors - White Trash Woman
Sinister - Compulsory Resignation
Zombie Ritual - Zombie Hurricane
Warloghe - Witchcraft and Blood
Mercyful Fate - Night of the Unborn
Rigor Mortis - Freaks
Venom - Black Metal
Millions of Dead Cops - John Wayne Was a Nazi
Vital Remains - Descent Into Hell
Impetigo - Cannibal Lust


Hope you like it, if not, we tried...



DOWNLOAD (Link updated)

Sleepaway Camp

This movie has a special place for me, because it was the movie that really got me into horror. I'd seen horror movies before, sure, but this one had me coming back to the video store and entirely ignoring all other genres for the first time.

Like a few people I know, I heard about this movie through Frightmare's amazing song Angela. Now, unfortunately, the song made it so that the plot, most importantly the ending, weren't a mystery to me. But this did nothing to take away from just how great a movie this is. I've probably seen it 8 times since then, including last night.

The movie opens with two kids with their dad on a boat, while on the other end of the lake, some annoying chick and her horny boyfriend are pulling some other chick behind them on a motorboat. The horny boyfriend doesn't see the dad and kids in the water, and one of the kids and the dad are killed.

Later we meet Angela and Ricky, living with Ricky's mother, and on their way to summer camp. They arrive at camp and we meet Ronnie and his ridiculous shorts, and Mel with his ever present cigar, as well as probably my favorite character, Artie the cook. Anyone who can't tell just from his first line "look at all that young fresh chicken" has clearly never seen a child molester before. And when he tries to take advantage of Angela, Ricky finds them and stops him. Oh yeah, and then he gets hit with a pot of boiling water.

Then some annoying kid at the lake gets drowned after he insults Angela. And then the bees, and the shower, the arrow, the hatchet, and
Well, you get the idea. This is my favorite slasher movie. It gets a 10/10

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3 Updates today

First and foremost, let me introduce you all to the hate page against me. It's great publicity.

http://www.youtube.com/user/vivalaposer

Enjoy.

Next off, let me tell you all that this blog is adding to it's repertoire with a podcast! Not only will we mock posers, but we'll talk about news in music and some horror stuff as well. It'll be up sometime in the next week, Demonic Possessor is still editing it. It'll feature plenty of metal classics and great new shit that we've reviewed.

And finally, the review. Today I'll be reviewing Friday the 13th Part 2.



First off, let me say that this is MILES ahead of part one and light years beyond the remake that I'll never see nor give a chance. It starts off with Alice having a nightmare, recalling the events of the first movie. She sees Mrs. Voorhees' head in the freezer, which was really well done.

Then we see the new counselors who meet Crazy Ralph (again) and (again) are told how everyone is doomed. They don't care, obviously. Later on Crazy Ralph gets strangled with barbed wire, so I guess next time around the kids won't be so lucky as to have a person to warn them.

I'm not going to ruin this whole movie for you guys if you haven't seen it, but god damnit, go and watch it! It's filled with gore (body count of 9 I believe), tits, and cheezy 80s dialogue. If you don't like camp slashers, something is wrong with you, and this is one of the best.

10/10

Demo - Hollywood Meltdown

Genre - Christian Screamo


I just named the genre. If you aren't running from this right now, then you're on the wrong website. This is literally the GAYEST thing I've ever heard. It starts out with a breakdown. What a surprise! A breakdown! We haven't heard a bazillion of those in this genre before. Next comes girly ass pussy screams. And then...what is that over the horizon? GOTHENBURG BULLSHIT! Yes, and a truckload of it, as hammer on riffs fill my ears with semen the likes of which we've never seen! It's like fucking aural mayonnaise. Guess who their number one influence is. JESUS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Fuck this band. This is Jarek music.

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-1,000,000/10

Blood Shack AKA The Chooper

Blood Shack is among my personal favorite movies, if you couldn't tell from my user name. Not only is it a low budget and hardly known classic, but the version of it I own I can't even find a record of it's existence. That's always a good sign!

This chick is trying to buy this shack, but everyone keeps telling her it's haunted by "The Chooper", a local legend. Finally people start getting killed by The Chooper, a ridiculous guy in a black sweatsuit with a long knife. The ending is a total scooby doo style affair, with the mask being pulled off and someone revealing that it's not "the real" chooper.

You can get this movie easily on DVD these days, but if you want my super kvlt VHS version, you're going to be searching for a long time.

9/10